


Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

by sexuallydisoriented (Cheezalot)



Series: Compromising Positions [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3270932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheezalot/pseuds/sexuallydisoriented





	Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

"Garcia, I don’t know….will anyone really go for it? This doesn’t seem like their kind of thing."

"I know, I know. But they like money, right?" Garcia propped her feet up between two of her keyboards, knocking a pen against her knuckles in thought. "I don’t know, JJ. What do you think we should do? Can’t you use your super spy profile-y skills and figure out what would get all those crotchety people at a fundraiser party-slash-auction thingy?"

JJ sighed. “I’m not  _really_  a profiler. Besides, if we do the people auction all we need to do is get the women out and spending money, which will be easier to swing. We don’t make that much but we make enough.”

"What are women spending money on?" You bustled into Garcia’s tech cave, the short heels of your shoes clicking on the cold floor. JJ and Garcia spun their chairs around to face you.

"Hey, Y/N." It was obvious through Garcia’s tone that they had been bouncing ideas around for a while to no avail. "Whatcha got for me, darlin’?"

"Oh, yeah." You remembered the small stack of files in your arms which you’d carted up from your office two floors lower. "Just some more old case files to digitize. Rossi told me I could give you some?"

"Sure thing! I’m not busy. As you can see." She gestured to JJ, who was sprawled out comfortably across two rolling office chairs that you were pretty sure you recognized from the BAU bullpen.

"So…what’s this about getting Bureau women spending money?" You’d only heard the tail end of their conversation as you walked up.

JJ grinned. “Well, Hotch mentioned to me last week that the BAU tends to stretch our budget every year, so…”

"So I thought it might be a good idea to have a fundraiser! We want to do it like a people auction, ‘Bachelors of the FBI’ kind of thing."

You nodded. “So what’s the problem?”

"There aren’t enough men in the BAU!" they exclaimed in unison.

You shoved JJ’s feet off one of the chairs and sat down. “What are you talking about? There are tons of men in this building!”

"Yeah, but not enough are from the BAU. It would be weird to have a fundraiser for our department but not have any of our gentlemen there."  Garcia’s excited grin dwindled into a frustrated scowl.

You shrugged. “Yeah, but don’t we have enough eligible specimens anyway? I mean, the BAU is small-ish, but we’ve got analysts, desk workers, those kinds of people, not just from you six in the field?” You started a mental list of eligible men in the BAU.

_Derek, but Garcia will probably outbid everyone._

_Okay, not probably. Definitely._

_Anderson? Eh, I guess he’ll work._

_Reid?_

_Definitely Reid._

"…and if the three of us fiddle with their hair a bit, maybe a little makeup here and there, this could work! Y/N, you in?"

Oops. You didn’t mean to zone out.

"Huh? Yeah, whatever y’all need." JJ and Garcia high-fived and laughed excitedly. "When are we gonna do this?"

"Oh, girlies, I don’t know. Whenever everyone’s here?" Garcia gestured vaguely in the air. "My babies get called off to save the world at random sometimes so I don’t know when we can guarantee they’ll be here."

"Oh don’t worry. Every case they do and don’t see comes to me first, so I can get them a night off." JJ winked. Sometimes, you forgot how much power she had over the unit. It’s kind of awesome.

"Excellent! I’ll call the Regency and book their ballroom as soon as they have an opening! Seven to one AM sound good?"

"Definitely," you replied.

JJ rolled over to you and started rattling off reasons why you should or shouldn’t ask Rossi to be in the auction as Garcia’s phone rang.

"Speak and be recognized, boy wonder. What can your merciful, technological overlord do for you this fine and peaceful afternoon?"

* * *

5 WEEKS LATER

You stood in the Quantico elevator nursing a still-too-hot cup of coffee, enjoying the smell but hoping it would cool off soon. You’d been up too late last night filing reports to the brass about the BAU’s latest case—something about a family annihilator in a city you couldn’t remember the name of. Too soon after you went to bed your alarm went off again, and you staggered into the shower and eventually made it into the elevator through a series of events that were mostly a blur. It dinged a floor below yours, and the doors slid open to allow a familiar pair in.

"Morning, sweetheart!" You were positive Derek hadn’t left the office that long before you, yet he still managed to be perky and awake somehow. Spencer, on the other hand, seemed as tired as you were—he greeted you with a tight smile and a nod as he followed Derek into the elevator. "You ready to make me pretty and raise some money tonight?"

You smiled through your exhaustion. “I can try, but I don’t know if even my cosmetic genius can make you pretty, Derek.”

He laughed and looped an arm around your shoulders in a comfortable side-hug. “Give it your best shot, baby girl. I’m looking forward.”

The elevator dinged on your floor. “See you tonight, boys.” You slid out of Derek’s embrace and smiled at Spencer…who was staring at the ground, face tense.

_Hm. Wonder who pissed in his cornflakes._

You’d been getting closer to Spencer recently in the wake of a particularly brutal case involving an unsub who, in your opinion, bore a striking resemblance to Tim Curry. Spencer vehemently disagreed, so you roped him into having a Rocky Horror movie night at your apartment. Ever since, the two of you had been great friends and got closer all the time. So far, though, you were just friends, although you were always looking for opportune moments to subtly insinuate, either by word or action, that you were up for more than friendship.

You unlocked your small office and curled up on your purple rolling chair, pulling yourself up to your two largest monitors and logging on. There was a message from Garcia waiting in your inbox:

**You ready, chica? Let me tell you, I am SO excited right now!! Tonight’s gonna be great!! JJ and I are setting up in the hotel around 5, and we told the guys to show up around 5:30, so that should give us enough time to work on them….I digress. It’s going to be great! Ping me if you need me ;) ~pg**

* * *

LATER THAT NIGHT

"Got everything you need?" JJ was puttering around the bathroom in an attempt to burn off excited energy. It was almost 5:30 and the three of you were in the bathroom of the Regency hotel waiting for some FBI boys to show up.

"Oh hells yeah, girl, we are rockin’!" Garcia was trying to balance her iPhone speakers on top of a paper towel dispenser while Amy Winehouse blasted out of the tiny box.

You slid off your countertop perch and started clapping along to the music and danced up against JJ, who laughed loudly and bumped you with a hip. Little moments like this with these girls were your favorite; you’d been an analyst with the FBI for four years and had been assigned to the BAU for just under a year, and although Garcia was your first friend from the “family,” her relationship with JJ had quickly expanded to include you.

Garcia lowered the volume as someone tapped on the propped-open door. “Uh, hi?” Spencer ducked in with a wave and a tight smile, and you could tell he was nervous.

"Hey! Come on down, smarty pants, and let me make you gorgeous." You crooked a finger at him and tried to make a seductive face, but you weren’t sure it came out right. Nevertheless, Spencer laughed and came to lean against your little section of countertop that wasn’t occupied by makeup or miscellaneous hair products. You quickly looked him over, evaluating how much work you had ahead of you. He was wearing a simple, well-fitted black suit, and it looked like he’d tried to do something to his hair; you couldn’t decide whether or not he’d succeeded.

"Hm. Not bad, Spence." He looked away as you looked up at his face. "C’mere. I’m going to cover those dark spots under your eyes and touch up your hair a little." You hopped up onto the counter and scooted back, pulling Spencer towards you by the arm.

"Oh, relax, I don’t bite that hard," you jibed when he resisted you a bit. You slid forward on the counter and wrapped your feet around his waist to pull him in closer, eliciting a yelp as he stumbled into the marble countertop. "You’re out of reach back there!"

Garcia laughed—you’d almost forgotten she and JJ were still in the room. “Don’t tell me Y/N makes you nervous, Spencer!” They’d been watching the two of you quietly and now wore absolutely shit-eating grins. You knew why. It was no secret (at least between you, JJ, and Penelope) that you had a raging crush on Spencer. So, naturally, when you boldly wrapped your legs around him, they exchanged not-so-muffled giggles and looks.

"Woah, are we interrupting something? We can come back in a second if you two need…" Garcia laughed again loudly, welcoming Derek and Rossi into the room. Spencer, who had been trying not to move (with limited success), was blushing like a tomato and grinning widely at Derek.

"Simply because I’m currently in such close proximity to Y/N doesn’t mean there’s anything to ‘interrupt,’ Morgan. By my observations,  _you_  stand at least this close to others regularly and only 13% of the time does it lead to something romantic.”

"Ah-ah, no sir," you scolded, taking hold of Spencer’s tie as he started to back away while addressing Derek. He made a small noise of protest, but acquiesced. You smiled, amused, and flashed Derek a look out of the corner of your eye, receiving a wink in return.

Okay, so you having a crush on Spencer wasn’t as much of a secret as you thought.

"Alright, kid, whatever you say." Derek let it drop as Garcia started bustling around him and JJ made a beeline for Rossi, who was silently enjoying the whole exchange.

"JJ, I hate to do this to you, but it looks like you’ve got me for whatever it is you’re doing here."

She laughed. “Don’t worry, sir, I’ll take good care of you. How’d Penelope convince you to come, anyway?”

Spencer turned his attention back to you, bright eyes meeting yours with a smile. “Sorry about that.” His voice was more intimate, like he was trying to make it so you were the only one who could hear what he was saying.

You smoothed his tie back down on his chest, hoping he didn’t notice the few seconds you let your fingers linger against the thin fabric of his shirt. “Derek is Derek, you know? He’s just trying to get a reaction out of you. I don’t mind being in the middle.” You continued brushing powder foundation under his eyes, hoping that if you avoided eye contact you could keep him from seeing something in your own eyes.

"I know, he does that to a lot of people." His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

As you brushed away at his eyes, a comfortable silence fell between you, which he eventually broke. “You know, I really appreciate you, and I don’t think I’ve told you that recently.”

You put your makeup brush down, biting the bullet and looking Spencer in the eye. “What do you mean?”

"I don’t know, like, you’re just…" It all came out in a rush. "You’re never in the field with us, and I think I text you more than I actually talk to you in person, but somehow you’re always exactly who I need. And I think I haven’t told you that, and I should have." He punctuated the sentence with a decisive nod, as if he was still convincing himself it was a good idea to say what he’d just said. "You mean a lot to me, Y/N."

Feeling especially bold, and warm from what Spencer had just said, you slid your hand into his, intertwining your fingers. “Thanks, Spence, that’s really sweet.” The two of you were close, but you’d never had a moment like this before—a moment of total honesty bordering on confessional—and it was especially unusual coming from him. You weren’t forthright with your feelings either, but Spencer was often less so than you. You inhaled to say something else, but bit your lip to shut yourself up. Now wasn’t the time.

Spencer squeezed your hand and ducked his head to get on your eye level. “I mean it. You’re….amazing.” His other hand cautiously came up to rest on your shoulder, and you twisted your head to quickly press a kiss to it, making him smile.

You cleared your throat, changing the atmosphere, and sat up a bit straighter, taking your hand back and trying to ignore the way your stomach fell a bit at the loss of warmth. “Alright, you’re good to go!” Spencer backed away from the counter and you hopped down. “Go be pretty for some other lucky lady.”

He laughed and stuffed his hands into his pants pockets. “Hey, are you gonna be at the…” he gestured vaguely into the air, “at the thing later?”

"Yeah, of course I’ll be there! Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. See you there, Y/N!" With that, Spencer hurried out of the room, slipping easily past Derek and JJ.

You stared at the space where he’d just been for a moment, confused by the sudden exit.

 _Huh_.

"Yo, snap out of it, lovebird." Garcia snapped her fingers in front of your face to get your attention. She pointed towards the door to the cramped bathroom. "Fix up whoever’s next! You can fawn over Dr. Smartypants later, ideally at me so I can gossip about you two."

You laughed and fought a blush as you poked your head outside. “Sir!” You flinched back a bit in surprise.

"Something wrong, Y/N?" Hotch’s voice was laced with amusement.

"Uh, no, sir! I just, um, didn’t expect you, I mean, this doesn’t seem like-"

"Doesn’t seem like my kind of thing, I know. It’s for a good cause, so I thought I’d come by and try to help if I can."

You nodded, still trying to shake the feeling of  _awkward_  you’d stumbled into. “Great! Come on in, sir.”

Hotch slipped by you, still amused. “Don’t call me sir, Y/N; I’m pretty sure this is as close to a casual setting that you and I will ever interact.”

"You’re not wrong, you’re definitely not wrong," you muttered to yourself as you followed Hotch back to your corner.

* * *

"Laaaaadies and gentlepeople, I, Penelope Garcia of the illustrious Behavioral Analysis Unit, am your unholy matron for this fine evening!"

You joined in the raucous applause that rang out in the ballroom, peppered with a few hoots and catcalls.

"Now THAT is what I like to hear from the FBI! Keep it coming!"

You were sitting at a three-top table with Emily and Kiera, an older analyst from your floor. The three of you were sipping colorful martinis and had been discussing who was going to pull in the largest bid when Garcia took over the room. The general consensus was that Derek was likely to be in top demand, but Kiera brought up a new agent named Rogers in the White Collar division who had been turning some heads since his transfer last month. You were all looking forward to seeing the boys dressed up—even though you’d seen a handful of them before— because it was still cool to see people in fancy cocktail garb when you’re used to seeing them only in business casual (or, on occasion, covered in someone else’s blood, or mud, or some other mysterious substance).

You were most looking forward to watching who went for whom out of the lineup. You figured you could learn a lot about the other women in the room by who they bid most aggressively for, so you planned to people-watch and bump prices when you could. After all, it was your department that was going to benefit  from all this.

Emily, ever enigmatic, had refused to say whether or not she was going to bid at all. However, between you and Kiera you’d managed to deduce that she had her eye on one Rory McIvey from International Affairs. Kiera, on the other hand, had no such reservations about her preferences. She was going to try for Derek, but statistically that was unlikely, so she also was going to bid for Rossi or Rogers, the new guy. She’d make up her mind later.

"So, my darlings, who’s ready to get started??" Garcia called out through her microphone. "Starting us off is Jason Anderson from the BAU!" She walked to the right while gesturing to the left to introduce Anderson as he paraded onto the stage, waving animatedly. "Shall we start the bidding at…50 dollars?"

You fell into an easy rhythm as the proceedings went on. You’d raise your flag here and there when you thought you could get more money out of someone, or you just wanted to see a particularly pretentious woman become irritated. It worked more often than not; you really pissed off a desk worker from the Violent Crimes division who began to stare daggers at you. You happily responded with a glare that said “I know two varieties of martial arts. Try me.” She backed off, and you and Kiera had a laugh.

It was both a blessing and a curse that Spencer didn’t come onto the stage until later into the night; at least an hour later. It was good and bad for the same reason: you were drunk. No, you were tipsy, but it was close. Luckily, Kiera was worse off than you were, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. You were having a blast, and the night hadn’t even really started.

So, when Garcia introduced “the BAU’s very own human computer,” you were one of the loudest in the audience. Garcia hugged Spencer as he came on stage, patting him on the back before releasing him.

Emily leaned over and whispered in your ear, “So, how much are you gonna put down on your boy?”

You twisted around slowly and grinned deviously. “As much as I want.”

Emily giggled and took a sip from your glass, keeping it out of your reach when you tried to grab for it. “No no, you’ve had enough,  _Agent Y/N_.”

You straightened up in your seat, indignant. “I most certainly have not,  _Agent Prentiss_.” You drew out the S sound teasingly.

She laughed and set your glass back down in front of you. “You definitely have, but if you don’t pay attention you’re gonna miss out on a date with your not-boyfriend so,” she turned your head to face the stage, “focus.”

You tuned back into what Garcia was saying and waved your flag to top the last bid. Spencer looked around in the low-lighted area for a moment to find whom the flag belonged to, and, once he found it was you, grinned widely. Fueled by the numerous martinis you’d consumed (by now you’d lost count), you held his gaze and winked, causing Emily and Kiera to snort into their glasses.

"Yeah, you’re  _definitely_  not overserved,” Kiera remarked.

You ignored her; you had a target to catch.

A few other flags went up, and you waited for them to die down before you again raised yours. You could see Garcia’s sparkling smile widening out of the corner of your eye, but you kept your gaze locked on Spencer.

_Oh I am coming for you, hot stuff._

_Hm. Maybe I am drunk._

_Nah_.

You downed the rest of your drink easily and, once you had Spencer’s attention, ran your tongue along your top lip. His smile faltered for a moment and was replaced with something you would have been able to identify…if there wasn’t so much alcohol in your system. Once that mystery expression passed over his face and was replaced by a knowing grin, Spencer winked at you. Emily and Kiera, who were watching the whole thing raptly, could no longer contain themselves and burst out in giggles.

Garcia was privy to the exchange as well. “Well, it looks like we have a winner! Spencer, you’re going home, er, going  _somewhere_  with the lovely Y/N!” The ballroom filled with polite applause and suggestive shouts as Spencer left the stage, and you could feel more than a few eyes on you. You could care less, thanks to the martinis; one way or another, this night was going to be fun.

* * *

Before you knew it, Garcia was closing the event as cheerily as she had opened it. “That concludes our first, and hopefully not last, BAU fundraiser auction! Ladies, hopefully you remember the name of the gentleman that you have agreed to spend some time with this evening…but before you run off on your romantic escapades, be sure to stop by a table just outside,” she pointed to the large double doors in the back of the room, “that the lovely Jennifer Jareau and I shall be manning to take your money. After you have paid us, AND your bar tab, you are free to meet up with your gentleman and do whatever it is you crazy kids do. Ciao!” With that, she bounced down the stairs at the front of the stage and made for the double doors. You caught her as she passed your table and shoved some bills into her hand.

"You rock, Penny." You grinned widely and hugged her. "Thanks for getting me into this!"

"No problem, sweetie! You just gotta promise me that one, you are going to go have an _amazing_  time with my favorite smart person, and second, you tell me everything tomorrow morning!” She gasped as if she just realized something. “Or, tomorrow afternoon! Depending on when it is you get back home, of course.” She waggled an eyebrow suggestively before pushing you out of the hug and back above your own feet and scuttling away to meet JJ.

You watched her go before turning to Keira and Emily. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I have an appointment with a doctor.” They laughed as you sauntered out of the room.

The air in the lobby of the hotel was colder, which helped bring you back to your senses a bit. You were leaning down to take off your heels when you felt a familiar hand on your back. You stood up and turned around, your head jerking back like a snake when you realized how close Spencer was standing to you.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," you giggled.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and held your gaze as best he could. “You’re drunk,” he stated.

You shook your head. “No, I just smell like a minibar.” You actually were feeling more coherent now that you’d walked a bit and were no longer under the alcoholic, hormonal spell of the auction (and your stare-down with Spencer). “Yeah, I drank a little too much, but I am most definitely not drunk.”

"Mmhm, sure. You’re a lightweight, Y/N."

"I know! Still…" You trailed your fingers down his arm to link your fingers with his. "We can still get out of here…if you want?" You suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline, a strange combination of nerves and excitement.

You could hear Spencer’s breath catch. “Yeah, uh, I think, um, I think that would be, um, nice.”

"So…..where are we going?" The lobby was pretty packed with people by now. You pulled Spencer out of traffic, towards the door.

"We could go to my place?"

_Why, Dr. Reid, how forward of you!_

You grinned widely.

"I mean, if thats not inappropriate. Is that inappropriate? I don’t know, it’s just-I’ve never done this before-"

"You’re rambling."

"-and who knows! You’ve been drinking, and that means your inhibitions are not what they should be, and-"

"Spencer."

"What?"

"You’re rambling."

He deflated. “Right.”

You squeezed his hand gently. “Come on, let’s go.”

"Uh, yeah, right," he mumbled, following you out towards your car. "Hey, I’m definitely driving, though."

You spun around, jingling your keys teasingly. “Nuh-uh! I can drive just fine!”

Spencer laughed and shook his head. “No, Y/N, hand them over, come on.” He held out his hand for them.

You stood in front of the driver’s side door and held the keys behind your back. “What, are you going to  _arrest_  me?”

"Not if you give me your keys, I won’t," he deadpanned. Spencer tried to reach around you for the car keys, but you switched them to your other hand and twisted out of his reach, giggling. "I mean it, Y/N, I’m not letting your drive!" He planted his hands on either side of you, trying to be intimidating (and failing).

The butterflies in your stomach started doing flips - Spencer was almost close enough that you thought if you breathed you might rub against him. There was a new kind of tension between you, and you knew he could feel it too. Spencer’s eyes were darting all over, as if he wanted to look you in the eye but thought he couldn’t.

You both stood frozen like that for an indeterminate amount of time. You could feel intoxicating heat radiating off his body, rooting you to the spot.

Eventually, Spencer’s body tensed, but he didn’t move away. Instead, he leaned towards you, breath catching nervously as his lips brushed your ear.

"Is it alright if I kiss you now," he murmured, not really asking a question.

Your breath caught in your throat and you managed a slight nod. Your eyes fell shut as his lips dropped to your neck, fingers gently brushing your hair out of the way. You let your head fall back against the car and brought one hand up to his chest.

He slowly kissed his way along your jaw before finally finding your lips with his own, one hand resting on your cheek and the other slipping around your waist to rest on your lower back. It took you a moment, but you did snap out of whatever spell he’d put on you and began to kiss back, running your fingers through his hair and pressing your torso against his. The contact drew a soft moan out of Spencer, which shot straight to the pit of your stomach and spurred you on. You dragged your tongue along his bottom lip and nipped at him gently, your fingers curling against him when his grip on your waist tightened. You gasped as Spencer pulled you closer but stopped kissing you, breathing heavily and resting his forehead against yours.

You took a second to slow your breathing before running a hand up Spencer’s chest. He covered yours with one of his own, pulling back and deftly removing your car keys from your now- loose grip.

"Come on. Let’s get out of here."


End file.
